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Journal Entry October 18, 2013 – Burn Out Bright…I just love this song by Switchfoot! It’s pretty rockin’, so if you don’t like that sorta thing, don’t bother looking it up (haha). We played it at Brandon’s Celebration of Life as part of a slide show. Two days before we had a more solemn gathering for the viewing, but we played lots of upbeat music at his memorial/Celebration of Life cause that’s what Brandon would have liked! Keep in mind he was 15 – and disliked things that were dull. :)
We usually listen to the kind of music our kids like…and so songs like this bring back lots of memories of a few years ago. I always thought this band was pretty awesome – we even managed to fluke out and catch a concert several years ago when we were out-of-town without the kids for a rare time away. That was pretty cruel for the “parents” to go see one of the kids favorite bands and then tell them about it – but we did bring back t-shirts!
This song and many others seemed like catchy tunes to me…but when we were searching for songs to use after Brandon’s passing, this one really hit me. I thought, “oh man, if I ever write a book, I should ask these guys if I could by any chance, pretty please, use this same title!” We’ll see about that.
But anyway this song brings up so many things inside of me. It’s a picture of how Brandon lived, full-out! He gave things his all – diligently working hard and playing hard. In some homework he had done just a few days before his passing, he had written a line about “I love adventure and exciting activities – and I want to find undiscovered land.” He passionately played soccer, and gave 110% as striker, scoring lots of goals with his team, even when he played up one year with older guys. He always bounded down the stairs, never walked. He was constantly entertaining or teasing at the table – just to get a laugh and keep things fun. If I reminded him of some table manners, he would get a rise out of me by doing something off the wall (opposite of the table manners I had taught him) – how could you expect the rest of us to NOT burst out laughing?! Haha! Good memories. He was cautious and wise in many things, taking only calculated risks, budgeting his time and saving money, but he was definitely free-spirited in the way he loved the out doors, spontaneity and fun! He lived for fun!
I won’t write much else tonight, just leave you with the song lyrics. Brandon’s life has re-lit what was a waning ember in me, and reinforced that I too want to Burn Out Bright! I don’t want to be a light that dims with time, a flame that slowly stops dancing. I don’t want to make a mess of my life, or let my hope be snuffed out by the damp blanket of the reality that life is hard. No, I want to shine brightly, give my all, be effective and productive until the day I die. THERE’S STILL FIRE IN ME YET!
Fueled by this endless HOPE…
<3 Janine Kurtz